as i lay living

i’m terrified of what this could mean
please protect me from what i’ve seen.

red crimson blood on so white sheet
please protect me from all mistreat.

once called friends becoming enemies
please protect us from you and me.

i’ve seen treason
and i’ve been told lies
i’ve seen loss of reason
and i’ve been in disguise

the world is a battlefield
and life is war.

sometimes i wish i’ve stood in home
where it was safe and bright
here i stay alone
ready to get devoured by night.

i used to think everyone was so terrified as me
when they ready their weapon, and pull the trigger.
but everyone’s shirt is so full of blood
and they shoot with so easy,
i guess it just became natural,
this thing of being human.

when i see in their faces
deep down in their eyes
as they murder,
they hurt,
they sinking into the mud,
when i look for any trace of compassion
survival gets in their way
and their eyes express nothing at all.

and i swear to you,
that look
(or the abscence of it)
terrifies me more than pulling the trigger.

(i’ve pulled the trigger sometimes)

maybe one day
my eyes will be blank
as i shoot black into people
and see they becoming red.

for when the world is a battlefield
and life is war,
evil becomes routine.
quickly i’ll forget what it is to be clean.

no hard feelings in between.
please, protect me from what i’ve seen.